I've decided I'm a bit of a fence sitter in life. Not where my beliefs are concerned - no - I'm a fence sitter in expressing my true thoughts and opinions. It must be the white in me -- you know, from the color code book? Whites are the peace keepers, the ones who avoid conflict at all cost and I am split right down the middle as a blue-white. Blues are emotional and loyal, the ones who take charge when no one else will step forward. So, I've got my blue side that is very passionate about things and my white side that doesn't want to step on any toes, so I feel all these things and never express myself, or very rarely anyway. Only when it's safe and I'm pressured into it.
I've got to admit, I admire Candace Salima her ability to voice her thoughts so openly, whether it be political, religious, or anything in between. Her blogs are fascinating to me and I look forward to each and every one. Tristi Pinkston does the same thing with different topics. She seems so open with what is on her mind.
I can't help but ask myself why I can't be more like that? But then I remember: we've all got our place in this life. We've all got our own unique gifts and challenges and where Candace and Tristi may be gifted in presenting themselves so fluently, I can keep the peace. Their gift is my challenge, and in the end that's really okay.
The whole concept puts me in mind of the scripture that says: "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
(Book of Mormon Ether 12:27)" (Italics added for emphasis)
(Book of Mormon Ether 12:27)" (Italics added for emphasis)
I've not blogged much lately, mostly because I've been feeling so many different things, I was afraid to put them out there for the world to see for fear I might offend somebody. Well, it's time to start being humble enough to take a chance and let the Lord help me be stronger in my weakness.
So here I am. I'm blogging about me - the real, genuine me - imperfect, a little fearful, and struggling to make it through each day - and just hoping I can finally hop of the fence and show myself for who I really am. I'm letting the grass be green again.
Quote of the Day: "Stop thinking about everyone else. Think about you. What do you want? What are your dreams? When you get to the end of your life and you're looking back on all you accomplished and didn't accomplish, what are the regrets you're going to have? Now live so that you don't carry those regrets." - Tristi Pinkston
8 comments:
My goodness -- what a remarkable woman this "Tristi Pinkston" must be.
Talullah LaTulip
I've never met Talullah, but I must say, she's so astute.
I'm half red and half blue, and my yellow comes out when I've had no sleep -- hence the conference fairy.
You are right to concentrate on your own strengths, Karen -- we've all been given gifts by our Heavenly Father to use in this life. But don't forget -- He's told us that we can ask for more gifts. If there's a gift you would really like to have, it's okay to seek it out.
Your gifts are beautiful and I for one feel blessed to know you.
You're right, Tristi and Candace are great, inspiration for us all.
You are ALSO doing a great job, don't be too hard on yourself. Blogging is a little like journaling, and sometimes we are afraid to have people read our thoughts in that fashion.
hey karen...
it's funny to read my own thoughts on your post. my heart raced slightly as you talked about the other blogsite/authors cuz i knew what you meant. i mean, when i started commenting on tristi's website, i didn't even know who the heck she was. to me, at the time, she was just some other chick i stumbled across who happened to like writing and thought my comments were interesting and "thought-provoking"... so, i kept going back. then, when a friend told me who she was... that she was a published author, and was one of those instructors at the conference, for some reason, i stopped commenting... that stupid conscience of mine told me that i wasn't good enough any more to be talking with the "big leagues" and i just needed to leave it to the those who knew what they were talking about, even if she thought i had intriguing questions and enjoyed having my comments! seems pretty dumb, really... but it scared me off!
but, since then, the thought keeps coming back to me, that the comparison i keep inforcing upon myself with these other so-esteemed "high and mighties" isn't fare in the least... along with all those other things people tell you to help you feel better. course, believing those little thoughts tends to be much harder to do, as i still haven't dared to comment again, and if i did, i probably wouldn't be as venturous (silly, i know) but, either way, i found a little quote i put up on my own blog the other day that i thought you might like:
"The person who does things that counts, doesn't usually stop to count them."
honestly?
...i like peace-makers... especially passionate ones like you. they're easy to get along with, and they don't tend to mind my nonsense ramblings... Passionate Peace-makers tend to watch out for the little guy, and not run over them... like you've done for me already. you found me a writing family, which is more than any "big shot" published author has done for me... and for that i am ever grateful.
besdies, the schrips say: "blessed are the peacemakers" and not necessarily, "blessed are the rocket-scientist" or "blessed are the published authors". i think you've got it where it counts... if you care to count them :) And, of course, when you get to that point of having your dreams as well... all the more power to you :)
laters
Karen, thank you so much for your amazing compliments. You will never know how much I needed to read your post today. It made my heart soar to know what I express actually matters to someone.
As to gifts we all have, through a letter into an equation and I run screaming into the night. I tried to pass Biology THREE times in college and couldn't get more than a D (and I tried, I really, really tried!) There's so much more. We each have our gifts, talents, strengths and weaknesses.
You, my dear author friend, are a wonderful woman and peacemakers are critical to the salvation of this world. You are needed!
So share your opinions! Who care if you offend someone because there is always going to be someone who needs to hear what you say.
Way to go Karen!
Sometimes it seems that whenever I open my mouth, I end up offending someone, so I finally decided I might as well offend people with my TRUTH, then to try to keep the peace and end up offending them with what I think they want to hear.
I love the things you've said on your blog. Keep it up.
BTW, I think I met Talullah once. Nice lady, but a bit gushy. :)
Wow, thanks you guys! I had no idea I'd get this kind of a response.
Tristi - my yellow comes out when I'm tired too. I hadn't thought about asking for more gifts. That's definitely something I'll put to the test. Thank you for your kind words. You put a huge smile on my face.
G - You are so right! That is a huge part of the problem. I'm a very private person and it's kind of scary pasting yourself in cyberspace for anyone to see.
Paulette - I love you! You made me cry today, and for once that's a good thing. Don't doubt yourself, girl. You're good! And thank you so, so much for all the nice things you said. They meant the world. Sure do miss having you here, friend.
Candace - Thank you! I appreciate the encouragement, and I meant every word. I'll tell you a secret . . . I failed algebra and anatomy both! At least we can share that challenge, eh?
Shanna - Thanks!
Karlene - Great advice and something I definitely needed to hear. I'll sure work at putting it in action. Thank you.
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