Thursday, August 14, 2008

Poetic Grief

Thanks to all who have sent condolences and prayers my way, whether through comments, personal e-mail, a card, phone call, or signing the guest book on the newspaper website. It has been so helpful and meaningful to have so many of you reach out to me during such a difficult time.

Yesterday I was out of town and found myself picking up the phone to call Mom and check on her. When it dawned on me nobody was on the other end, my heart just about broke, but rather than have a melt-down I put it on paper. The following poem is what resulted:
Poetic Grief
I picked up the phone
to call you tonight
when I remembered . . .
you're not there.
Yesterday, I went downstairs
to talk to you
but only the silent remnants
of your life greeted me with memories
. . . and you're not there.
Tomorrow I'll want to share
the music of this masterpiece
and you won't be there.
I never knew how big you were
until I tried to fill the void
you left behind.
There's not enough stuff in the world
to fill this hole.
The place you lived in my heart
is empty
. . . because you're not there.


Josi said...

Oh Karen, I'm so sorry. I was listening to Dr. Laura yesterday and a woman called about her mother having died and how heartbroken she was and Dr. Laura said "That's good news, it means that you loved her and felt loved by her and you have something to grieve about now that it's gone. Many people have no reason for such sorrow." That's likely little or no consolation, but I wish you the best. Beautiful poem

Laurel said...

Beautiful poem Karen. I loved it :)

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry, Karen. I haven't lost a parent yet, so I don't know how you must be feeling, but your poem really gave me a glimpse of what it's like to have that kind of void left behind by the person who shaped your life so much. Good luck with everything. Your mother sounds like a wonderful person. She's so beautiful in the photo you put up.

Tristi Pinkston said...

Thank you for sharing this poem, Karen. And if I know your mother, she's probably still right there.

~paulette said...

if it means anything, i've shed a few tears for you today. i know it doesn't amount to anything overall, but i think we could all feel a touch of what you are feeling through your words. This is a moment that i fear in my future, especially as my mom's health declines. my prayers are with you. XOX

April said...

Oh Karen, my heart just breaks for you. That was a beautiful poem, expressing what's in your heart and soul so well. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I apologize for not keeping up with your blog. Your mother does sound like such a wonderful woman, I would have been blessed to have known her.

Rebecca Mother of A Tribe said...

Someone should set that to music.

So sorry for your loss.

Rachelle said...

Karen, that was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing your most tender emotions to remind all of us how important our family is.

Melinda said...

Aww, that made me cry.

That was really beautiful. Please know that I'm thinking of you.

Julie Wright said...

That poem was beautiful. And I agree with Josi in that you and your mom had such a neat relationship. It's something to be admired and rejoiced over. How many daughters can call their moms their friend? The poem is an apt tribute to the perfect friendship.

Karen Hoover said...

You guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for all of your kind comments.

Josi, I can't tell you how often I've thought on what you said. The sorrow is an apt tribute to love. Thank you for sharing this.

Laurel, thank you

Jennifer, Mom was one of the best people I know. She will be forever my hero. I always thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world, so I'm glad someone else can see that beauty too.

Tristi, you hit it just right. She's made me very aware of how thin the veil really is. I miss her hugs, but her spirit is still nearby.

Paulette, thank you for your tears and words. They are precious. Treasure every moment with your Mom. I tried so hard to do that and can honestly say I have no regrets because of it.

April, thank you. I know Mom was a blessing in my life and those of her many adopted daughters and sisters. She would have been honored to know you, I'm sure.

Rebecca, wow, thanks!

Rachelle, thank you. The greatest thing I have learned through this is how precious family truly is. It's something I'll never forget again.

Melinda, is it terrible that I'm happy I made you cry? :p Poetry is word music to me and just like music it works best when it bypasses the brain and goes straight to the heart. Hopefully that means I did an adequate job.

Julie, your words are priceless. Thank you for saying that. She truly was my best friend and it's that part of her I miss the most.

Cathy Witbeck said...

Sometimes I think it helps to put it down on paper. Not that it lessens the grief, just acknowledges it. Sweet words, by the way.

I just got back from a viewing and President Monson was there. He took the time to come and see a grieving family because he knew their mother. What a dear man. It gave me the chills just to be in the same room. We are so blessed.

DEe said...

DEe (short for dangerous expressions) Thank you for coming by my blog. I replied to your comment there too, but I figured I should come by here again too, just to be polite.

I have linked your site onto a friend-list of mine. I hope you don't mind. You're the only one on the list at the moment.

I think your poetry is beautiful. It reaches places within a soul that must be expressed or it will expload. That is something I am just starting to learn. I am new to the world of poetry and I hope my rawness doesn't offend your great talent in the future. Thank you.