I've been going through Mom's things and though I know it's a necessary task, there are days it's a real struggle. The other day I found Mom's calendar and seeing her life planned on the page in her familiar handwriting, the pain hit me something fierce. The kids were upstairs playing and I just laid down on the floor and tried not to cry.
After a bit Birdie boy came down and asked "Mom, are you crying?"
"No." I tried not to sniff.
He immediately came down the stairs and knelt down beside me while I fingered the calendar. "You are crying." Well, I hadn't been before, but his kindness set me off, so I nodded my head. He wrapped an arm around me and put his cheek next to mine and tried to comfort me as best as his nine year-old self could. He patted my back while my tears dampened the carpet and said, "It's okay, Mom. I'm sad too."
Tin-man came to the stairs then. "Is Mom crying?"
Birdie nodded and Tin-man immediately rushed to me and knelt by my head, but instead of trying to comfort me he grabbed the calendar and started to flip through it furiously.
"What are you doing?" Birdie asked.
"Trying to find what made my mom cry!" was his answer. That made me cry even harder.
Birdie stood then and said, "Mom, you don't have to do anything else. I'll clean up for you. Just tell us what to do." He wrapped his arm back around me and, scooting to the side, went to sit down, then promptly yelped and leapt to his feet, rubbing his backside. Startled, I glanced to my left to see what had attacked him to find toothpicks scattered across the carpet, the holder they'd been in tipped on its side. I started to laugh hysterically and both boys joined me rather quickly.
He picked up the toothpicks and smacked them with his hand. "Bad toothpicks. Mom, what do I do with them?"
I answered, "Well, after they've been stuck in your butt I don't think anybody's going to want to use them." I handed him the garbage and, laughing, he tossed them out.
What a joy they are to my aching heart.
10 comments:
Aww Karen. I am so sorry for your pain. I suppose it was easier when my mom died because she did not have her life planned out - she knew she was dying so there were none of those future plans she couldn't realize to leave me hurting.
Big hugs to you. And hugs to your sweet boys who love there mama.
What a sweet, sweet moment.
Karen,
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.
I lost mine about three and a half months ago (age 63 to cancer) and since my dad had passed away four years ago at age 61 of cancer and my grandmother and great grandmother had lived to 94 and 97, I assumed I'd have a parent around for at least another 30 years.
I count my blessings though that she got to see the book I dedicated to her and my dad (The Santa Letters) which is about finding hope after you've lost someone you love.
I look forward to seeing your post on it in September and I hope you smile and think of your mom as you read it.
All my best,
Stacy
What funny, sweet boys you have, Karen!
(((hugs)))
they are such sweet boys. you've raised them so well.
A reminder of your stop on the "Santa Letters" blog tour coming up on Thursday.
Thanks, and love ya!
Our children can be such a blessing. My little Thomas is always hugging me and asking,"What can I do for you, mom?". Kind of makes it all worth while, eh.
Lady, I am so glad you have those two cute kids of yours. You are such a good mom. It shows in the fact that those boys have learned to care about you and want to take care of you.
Thanks goodness for kids.
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