Monday, September 10, 2007

Scary Monster Goes Bye-Bye

As per Tristi's request, I am posting a new blog so that the big, scary monster can go away.


Okay, so, I took several bits of advice from the wonderful people who responded to my last post and gave myself a break today. I had my husband drop me off up the canyon 10 minutes from our house, with the intention of writing, and I did write - just not what I expected to.

I got a bunch of edits done at the concert on Saturday (10 chapters worth) and then realized there were a few things I still needed to add for some later things to make sense. Anyway, I had planned to do that today, but when I got up there, it was so beautiful and quiet that I found myself writing what I call "Ramblings" instead. Basically, I ramble on the page, whatever pops into my mind.

Today was a healing ramble. I started writing about my story but found myself turning inward and just went with it. I wrote ten pages, long hand, and just purged out all the garbage that's been festering inside. All the stress of the last twelve years came pouring out onto paper and I couldn't stop. It felt wonderful! Kind of a one-on-one therapy session with my inner self. Very good stuff.

Anyway, it was so wonderful I feel really good tonight, even with kids homework struggles and my other normal, everyday challenges. They're not bugging me like they usually do. I don't feel overwhelmed or frustrated. I feel . . . peaceful. Free. Lighter. It's amazing.

So, thank you so much, my dear friends, for your kind words of encouragement and advice. It went a long way in helping me today. I finally felt what I've known all along: I've got to fill my own well before I have anything to dip from. You guys helped me find my well.

Thank you.

Quote of the Day: "Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." ~E.L. Doctorow


Candace Salima (LDS Nora Roberts) said...

Hallelujah! I'm so glad you're feeling better and that you took this time for yourself. It's amazing what that will do, isn't it?

By the way Karen, I don't think you've joined our Utah Chapter of the BEAUTIFUL BABBLING BOISTEROUS BLOGGING BABES. Why ever not? We want you with us when we meeting for lunch or dinner. Please email me and tell me you want to join us and then pop by my blogspot and vote on the best day and time for you.

Shanna Blythe said...

That is so good. I'm glad you went with what you were feeling!

G. Parker said...

Way to go!! I knew you could do it. Hope you have another wonderful day...

~paulette said...

well... i remember a YW leader once having us sit down and write out something similiar to what you did. i ended up having a rather long and ugly list of everything i hated about myself. it was rather depressing... a little later, (in a classic lesson) she took us hiking up into the mountains, where we literally buried them. it was only later i really caught on to the symbolism of buring them high in the mountain-tops... like a prayer; giving all my weakness to god and what-not. Anyways... i've always remembered that moment, even if at the time i thought it was really lame. I made a promise with my leader that i'd never look back... and i've had to honor my word. :) i'm glad for you... i've had many moments like that since then (though it didn't involve hiking) and i've found that once my mind was cleared from unneeded stresses, it was open to more comforting things

Tristi Pinkston said...

It's perfect, Karen! Cute puppies are just what I needed!

I'm so glad you had this experience, Karen. You sound relaxed and at peace -- you deserve that. Go head up in the hills whenever you need you.