I had a really interesting conversation with my husband yesterday. I was comparing my two interviews--one for the newspaper and one for my publisher's blog--and how much easier it is for me to write my answers to questions than to answer them verbally on the fly, and especially how challenging it is for me to answer questions about myself. Somehow we came around to my being able to teach about writing just fine. I hardly ever get nervous when I teach and really enjoy the process, but start asking me about me and my brain freezes up.
He asked me why I thought that was and I said, "Well, I think it's because I'm passionate about my subject, so it's easy to talk about."
He then asked me one of the most profound questions I've heard in a long time. He said, "Well, aren't you passionate about yourself?"
It's been over 24 hours since he asked me that and I can't get it out of my head. Am I not passionate about myself? And if not, shouldn't I be? I am the only me that exists in this world, the only ME God created, so shouldn't I take joy in sharing the uniqueness that is me?
Perhaps. But even knowing that it's not easy to open up and let the world peek inside at who I am. I'm not sure how to change that. How DOES one become passionate about ones self without becoming self obsessed? How does one remain humble, yet open up in this way?
I don't have the answers to that. If any of you have thoughts, I'd love to hear them.