I finally went to see a psychologist who deals in grieving and she has made a profound difference in my life. She told me to keep the relationship alive with my mother. That particular phrasing hit me like nothing has since I lost Mom. I believe in an afterlife. I believe Mom's spirit is not far away and I've felt her close by on many occasions. The problem has always been that I couldn't really communicate with her. I talked to her on occasion but for some strange reason she didn't answer back and it frustrated me.
The doctor's solution? Write letters to my mom. It has changed my life.
I know that sounds rather dramatic, but when you've been living in a hole for five months, seeing the sunlight again is a rather dramatic thing. I've found hope again. When I write I can hear Mom's voice in my thoughts, perhaps the memories of conversations before or bits of knowing her so well I know how she would respond. It's as if I can finally have a conversation with her, even beyond the veil to eternity and it has begun to fill a bit of the hole her absence has caused. I'm not all the way back. I don't know if I ever will be, but I can write again. It started with the letters, and that has inspired me to start writing a new book, which in turn has brought me back to my blogs. Thank you for your patience, dear readers. I shall be more dedicated with my blogging and I promise you I shall not only blog, but I shall write stories like never before. Writing brings peace. Writing brings joy in a time filled only with sorrow. Writing has brought me full circle back to myself and knowing it is one of those things I just have to do.
Writing has brought me back home. One person short. A little more fragile. But a better person for the experience.
Quote of the Day: "The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium."
~Norbet Platt
6 comments:
Writing helps in so many ways. I'm glad it's helping you with your grief. Sometimes, when I'm feeling all cranky and insane, I write letters to God. It really helps to center me again.
Karen, it's good to see you back and writing again. You have so much talent. Are you writing any poetry?
Karen, i am so glad you are feeling a wee bit better. We have our room reserved for ltue. I love you babe!
I love you! It's soo good to see you doing better. When do I get to read more of your story?
Oh Karen, I'm so sorry for the heartbreak you've been living with.
It took me many, many months of deep mourning before I could stand on my own two feet again. I also found writing letters to my mom to be so helpful. Sometimes I talk to her, and like you experienced, I swear she answers back - not out loud, no not in that way - but in my heart, through my memories.
I love her still, and she is STILL a part of me.
I'm so glad you've found a way through your pain to the writing which brings you such peace.
Hugs.
Karlene-I've never thought about writing letters to God. I may have to try it sometime. I've been amazed at how quickly the weight has lifted.
Marta-Thank you so much! I've not written many poems. A couple, but the words just haven't been flowing in that fashion for some reason. You've inspired me to try again though!
Julie-I'm glad too, and I can hardly wait for LTUE! Love you too!
Shari-Luv, luv, luv you! Thanks for the kick in the pants. I'll get back to it SOON! *hugs*
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