LDStorymakers Conference and New Goals

When I was at the LDStorymakers conference, I set a goal for myself.

You see, I've got this problem. I write books, edit and edit and edit them, then park them on a shelf and don't send them anywhere.

I'm terrified of rejection. Stupid, I know. I was a missionary, for heavens sake, and you won't get much more rejection than that, but for some reason rejection of my manuscript scares the crap out of me. It's happened. I've sent it out a few places about three years back and even got some requests for partials out of it, but after a rather viscous rejection letter, I quit sending anything. Three years and I've sent out maybe four submissions, not counting the LDStorymakers first chapter contest.

I finally decided I have no right to be jealous of those passing me by and getting published if I'm not doing anything to make it happen for myself. Last year, Rebecca Shelly motivated a bunch of us to have a rejection contest to try and get 100 rejections within the year. I wanted to participate, but I just couldn't make myself do it. It felt like I was setting myself up for failure. So, I borrowed her idea and flipped it for something that works better for me.

As of December 31, 2008 I plan to have sent out 100 submissions, whether it be a query, a partial, or a complete manuscript. That's the plan, and thankfully I've got a sister-in-law who believes in me enough to shove me forward when I get scared. She's already been doing research-on her own, without being asked-on places that would be a good fit with my style of writing. She's not really giving me any choice, and maybe that's a good thing. It's nice to have somebody believe in me so passionately that they are willing to use much of the little time they have in helping my books to find a home.

I'm going to start adding some writing tips, things that have worked for me over the years. I love the writing quotes I always stick at the end of my posts, and I will continue them, but having experienced the joy of a successful tip just yesterday, I want to share the wealth around. So here it is.


Writing tip #1: Block Buster

Have you ever sat down to write and found yourself staring at a blank screen/page with no idea how to fill it? If so, maybe you should try Rebecca Shelly's advice and do some ramblings. Yes, you heard me right-ramblings. Open a blank word document or flip to a blank page and write whatever comes into your head as fast as you possibly can. You might even start with "I have no idea what to write about, I'm just so frustrated that I can't think of what to write so I'll do this for a while . . . ." Write anything that pops into your head and don't stop to edit. If you spell something wrong, that's okay. If it didn't come out quite right, don't worry about it. Two pages all one paragraph? No problem! Don't stop writing until you know what to do with the blank page of your manuscript-or you're so bored with ramblings that you move to your manuscript in desperation.

It works.

So, next time you're stuck with writer's block, write your way around it instead of trying to hammer through!

Quote of theDay: "I would hurl words into this darkness and wait for an echo, and if an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight, to create a sense of hunger for life that gnaws in us all."

~Richard Wright, American Hunger, 1977

March Mish-Mash

March has been a rather full and interesting month. I had the opportunity to attend the LDStorymakers writing conference on march 21st and 22nd. My brain felt like it had been stuffed with packing peanuts after two days of writing euphoria and I have to admit I was flying high by the time I left late Saturday night. It was wonderful to see all my writing friends again and finally put faces to so many online names.

There were two highlights for me:
first, during the announcement of the short story contest winners, I was surprised to hear my name. For the second year I took first in the fantasy category. It blew me away. The validation has been invaluable, I must admit. After all the struggles of the past year, I guess I kind of forgot that I could write. Winning two years in a row has made me realize that this is something I can do. I'm not a faker. I can write-or so the judges say. My friend Jewel also took first place in the mystery/suspense category and last year she took first in historical fiction. It was pretty neat to see her up there.

The second highlight was having the privilege to attend the Whitney Awards and see so many of the authors I admire (and some of whom I know) attend and even win. There are too many to name, but every one of those authors in attendance deserved to be recognized.

I'm feeling some pressure in regards to writing right now, and it's a bit scary, I must admit. Last year when "The Sapphire Flute" took first, I had a finished manuscript, even if it did need some serious editing (Thanks Tristi!!!). This year I wrote "Gnomebody Gnows" specifically for the contest, never expecting to win. I'm embarrassed to admit it was submitted as a first draft with only punctuation and errors checked, and even then I missed some goofs. I have nothing else. One chapter and how can I submit that? I've never been in this position before, so I decided to do something about it.

I signed up for two BIAM's (Book In A Month) starting today. I'll duplicate the word count for both locations, but I needed as much support as I could get, so I signed up at Latter Day Authors and with Tristi's Challenges. My goal is for 2,000 to 3,000 words per day, six days a week. It's a lofty goal for me. I know I can do it if I can make myself actually type when I sit at the computer. I've got the ideas, now I just need some inspiration and courage to get it down. So, please, anyone, if you've got a kick in the pants, or some words of encouragement, or even a carrot to throw my way, please do! I need to do this-for me, more than anything-to remind myself that I can write when I want to bad enough. I'll put a thing up on the sidebar tracking my progress and hopefully it will rise some every day.

One last thing-a big thank you to all the LDStorymakers who made the conference such an amazing experience. It gets better every single year and is the one conference I can say without hesitation, I will NEVER miss. You guys are awesome!


Quote of the Day:

Let me walk through the fields of paper
touching with my wand
dry stems and stunted
butterflies....

~Denise Levertov, "A Walk through the Notebooks"

The Blessing of Service

It is amazing to me how the Lord leads us to the places in our lives we need to be at any given time. It's been a tough couple of years for me. Nothing earth shattering has happened, really, but my family has had to deal with some serious challenges. A short recap would be: my wouldn't-harm-a-mouse husband, the guy who hates violence in any form, was wrongfully charged with child abuse, my sister-in-law had a brain tumor, my mother-in-law had two forms of cancer, two deaths of young children, my brother-in-law was wrongfully dismissed from his job, my son was suspended from school twice, my mother had knee surgery, I had a hysterectomy and discovered it was cancerous, and most recently we discovered that my husband was misdiagnosed and is bi-polar. I'm sure you can imagine all the stresses that went with each of those revelations, and that's just the big stuff. The day-to-day stuff nearly put me in the nut house.

Now, at the time, it seemed that each of these things was the end of my world. It felt as if my life was completely out of control and nothing would ever be right again, not my writing, not my family, not my sanity.

I was wrong.

I learned a great lesson through all of this. Something I wish I had fully realized years ago. It might not be an earth shattering bit of news to anyone else, but for me it completely changed my worldview. A simple thing, really.

Hitting those walls makes one stronger.

Years ago when I was a missionary in Connecticut, my brother sent me an essay a friend of his wrote about The Wall. You know the one--the wall of life? In this essay he spoke of how at the time it felt as if the wall were weakening him, it hurt to swing and push at it, but when he was done and looked back, he realized that pushing at the walls in his life had made him stronger. His hands and arms had thickened, his back straightened. It has forever stuck with me. When going through these trials, I remind myself, this will make you better in the end.

While doing our Young Writers Workshop last fall, I realized how much joy and strength there was to be gained from service. It was a difficult thing to do, teaching these kids how to write when I was still working my own way through the process, but I came to love those girls so much, and it seemed that in teaching, I grew. I learned more than they did, I think.

A while back I mentioned that there were some things going on I couldn't talk about. Well, now I can. For those of you who might be unfamiliar with the workings The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, every office, every job within the church are done by the members. All of them. Everything from the Bishop, who presides over the congregation, to the librarian. All teachers and leaders are called by the bishop to fill positions. We call it "A Calling". Recently I have had this experience. I've been called to be the new Young Women's President in my ward (congregation). What this means is that I am now responsible for over forty girls between the age of twelve and eighteen, only thirteen of which come to church on any kind of regular basis.

My point? I have learned of recent years the joy and blessings that come as a direct result of service. I honestly wouldn't want to be in any other place in my life than I am right now. This is where I need to be and what I need to be doing. It's almost as if when I forget myself and serve others, Heavenly Father helps to fill in the holes in my life and lift me above them. The hard stuff doesn't go away, but somehow I seem better able to deal with. I've found purpose in my life again, and through that purpose, not only do I feel more fulfilled, but I have this urgent desire within me to write once again. The Lord has brought me full circle, hopefully a little wiser, definitely more humble, and I have found myself through losing it. Mark 8: 35-36 says "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it."

That is how I feel right now. I've found myself again through service. What a blessing. What a joyous blessing.

Quote of the Day: "The ablest writer is only a gardener first, and then a cook: his tasks are, carefully to select and cultivate his strongest and most nutritive thoughts; and when they are ripe, to dress them, wholesomely, and yet so that they may have a relish."

~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

Inspiration Grows

I wrote a poem today. It's been quite a while since the inspiration has come so easily. Usually when there's been a long lapse in my writing, the first thing that comes out in my poetry is all the stuff I don't like about myself or my life. Today was different. It was a poem about inspiration and the way it feels to me. I call it "Teapot" for lack of a better title. Here it is:

Teapot

I feel like a teapot.

Boiling water bubbling up

from the depths of myself.

Creative ideas dance on the bottom,

leap through the heat to see

the light of my face.

Why is it that these creative bubbles

can be both exciting and terrifying

in the same moment?

Just like the teapot my stomach boils

ideas create acid fear

and efferscent joy

jumbled together in a messy fountain of thought.

Why can't ideas come from peace?

Why can't stillness be their calling card

instead of this crazy tilt-o'-whirl of emotion?

They pick me up and carry me

to the place they wish to go

with echoes of "ooo, what if" and "wouldn't it be cool"

following behind like a pup

racing after a speeding car.

Why no the still, quiet waters

of a mountain lake?

Stop! Wait!

I cry as they race about.

I need time to write it down

before the teapot runs out of water,

before the creative binge runs out of steam,

but, heedless, the ideas race on

and only I seem to notice the dry crack

of the empty kettle on the stove.

It's a little rough, but it served its purpose.

I had quite a flattering event happen this week. One of my friend's daughters wants to be an illustrator, so her mom called me up this past week and asked if she could have a copy of one of my books so Molly could practice illustrating scenes from books. I had an extra copy just sitting around so I gave it to her. Molly read it, loved it, and drew about a dozen pictures. She's eleven, but you'd never know it. She's GOOD!!! One of my favorite pictures is at the top of my blog. The kids is astounding. I know people who have been drawing for twenty years who aren't so good. It's awesome and extremely flattering that she asked to use my book to do it. It's been a fairly happy week. I'm hoping to write another blog entry tomorrow as I've got tons to catch up on and it's time for bed.

I know I've been tagged at least twice over the last several months but can't remember by whom and for what. If you've tagged me anytime since, oh . . . say, September, let me know, would you? I'll get on it as soon as I hear from you.

Quote of the Day: To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music the words make.

~Truman Capote, McCall's, November 1967

Moving On

Isn't if funny how we so often think a project is finished only to find we've still got a million more things to do? I am in that position. I'm editing the Sapphire Flute AGAIN, thanks to some much needed suggestions from Tristi Pinkston. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, VERY grateful, it's just hard to go back to the same thing once more when I thought it was done. Boy, have I learned a lot in this process though. Tristi is an amazing editor. If anyone is looking for a great editor-for-hire, I'd totally recommend her. It's like getting an editor and writing tutor all wrapped-up in one. So, THANK YOU, Miss Tristi! Even if you are making me work my fingers off again. Hopefully this will be the last time until a publisher/agent swoons over the smooth writing and creatively original story. :P

On another note, I just found out that one of my favorite mystery writers, J.A. Jance, is going to be in Bountiful tomorrow evening at the Davis County Library. If anyone wants to go, it's at 7pm at the south branch of the library. The address is: 725 S. Main Street. Look for me if you come, I'll be there for sure! She'll also be at Sam Weller's the following night at 6:30.

Things are still crazy around here, but I'm finding some peace at last. I can't talk about it yet, but I'll blog about it once I can.

Best of luck to all of you with your writing and in your lives.

Quote of the Day: "The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium."

~Norbet Platt

I'm Not Dead Yet . . . .

It has come to my attention that there is an odd rumor floating about that I might have died. I am happy to say, this rumor is most definitely untrue. I have been living a rather busily insane life through the holidays, and once the insanity died down I stuck my head in my pillows and hid for a while. I'm recovered now, and though I am not yet sure how much of my sanity has returned, enough of it is back that I can post a blog at long last.

On a more casual note, the holidays were good. My little brother spent a week painting a beautiful miniature dragon for my birthday, but I can't get my pictures to upload from my camera. I'll post them when I do. My in-laws took us to the Homestead Resort in Midway for Thanksgiving, while Christmas and New Years were spent at home and at work.

Not really anything much of interest going on around here. I've just been really, really busy - and I must admit a little discouraged, due to the lack of writing time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm living a pipe dream with my writing aspirations. Part of me knows this is what I'm supposed to do, but all of the "what-if's" get a little discouraging at times. I know, I know, I've just got to get a thick skin and keep submitting, but some days that's easier to do than others, and the passing of another year without having my dreams find a home always makes me a bit melancholy.

But enough of that. One of my resolutions for the new year is to get organized and to write something every day, including blogs. I've done pretty good so far. Hopefully I can keep this one going for a long time.

"It is necessary to write, if the days are not to slip emptily by. How else, indeed, to clap the net over the butterfly of the moment? For the moment passes, it is forgotten; the mood is gone; life itself is gone. That is where the writer scores over his fellows: he catches the changes of his mind on the hop."

~Vita Sackville-West

My Husband, My Hero

Before I explain the above title, I just want to say thanks to all of you for checking in on me and letting me know I'm thought of and loved. Things are fine, just super, super busy. Christmas and birthdays are hard for my kids as it brings back memories of their birth mother and makes it a real struggle. I've felt like they needed as much of my time and attention as I could give them. Add to that my church duties (which I love) and a slew of invitations (it's so nice to be loved!) and I've hardly had time to think or sleep, let alone check e-mail and blog. I certainly have missed all of you though. Things should slow down soon.

We now continue with our scheduled blog-

I wish I'd known a few weeks ago how truly amazing and courageous my husband was. I would have entered him in Candace Salima's Best Husband in the World contest. I knew he was a wonderful guy, of course, but I never knew how brave he was until a couple of weeks ago.

See, he saved somebody's life. He didn't run into a burning building or perform CPR, but what he did was courageous nonetheless.

My hubby has always been a kind-hearted soul. He's one of those that is almost always there when you need him to be, whether it be for a listening ear or moving heavy objects, a hug when it's most needed and he even does dishes and bathrooms! He also has the most amazing singing voice . . . but I'm getting away from my topic. Because of this kind heart he's got, he likes to spend time in depression chat rooms trying to lift others up and offer a friendly hand when people are in need of one.

A couple of weeks ago Hubby was at work, checking his e-mail, when he got a chilling message from one of his online friends. They had just taken an entire bottle of pills and had sent him a message to say good-bye. Having a first and last name in is address book, he searched online and found an address, then called the police in that state to inform them of the suicide note he'd received. They found the person in time to save their life. It's taken two weeks to finally get the whole story, but the person is doing well now, having been in the hospital for treatment, and thought they were angry at first, now they are very grateful to Hubby for saving their life.

So, he's my new hero and I couldn't be more content to be married to such a brave and persistent man. It took hours from his work to do all of this, but he did it without question, without thought, and I couldn't be more proud. (I hate the "P" word, but I can't think of another way to phrase it.)

What an amazing guy. My husband . . . my hero.

Quote of the Day: "When the will defies fear, when duty throws the gauntlet down to fate, when honor scorns to compromise with death - that is heroism."
- Robert Green Ingersoll -